Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend's
Or of thine own were:
Any man's death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee
John Donne
I love this poem and understnd what Donne saying, but had he met an Aphasic?
My Aphasia has ment I have tried to retreet my own island, like hermit, retreeting inside myself trying make sense of what this condition doing to.
I explained before what Aphasia is and chalenges Aphasics face in evryday life. Comunication is part of evryday life so, when it disapeers, huge part of our lives disapeer with it. Man is ment to be part of society, a society that interacts with each other. So much life revolves round comunication, from the time we wake in morning to the time we retire nite we comunicating. Radio, television, email, text, leters, books, magazines, greetings cards, films, social media, socialising, doctors/dentists/consultants apointments, famly and frends we are always in some form comunication.
If you have truble speeking and you want tell your husbnd, wife, partner, children, parents that you love them but are unable to say those simple words I Love You, can you imagine how hertbraking that is? If you can rite then it is a form of expresing those sentiments but if you cannot rite either, it is another blow. If you received a card with those words but couldn't reed, how distresing you think is? But that how Aphasia afects many peple.
I was trying hard to work on my speech, reeding and riting. I could say somethings, my reeding, like now, at a basic level (nothing to hevy!), riting was a problm because of speling. I also mised small joining words. On my retreeted island I very low, I forgoten famly and frends' names, I forever trying to find other ways to say things, explain things, describe things. There it was in hed and I wanted 'set it free'.
My speech therapist came up with video camera and wanted me and my husbnd video ourselves having conversations. We gave it a go. When it was played back I saw I could comunicate much beter than I thort! I was building a bridge to other islands, islands biger and with more peple on them! As we made our videos she praised me for way I comunicate and say we perfect models for Aphasics to follow!
Having lived in France for 10 yeers we had become used to using gestures to emphasise our words, I was using lots of gestures more than I realised. Pointing, pictures, hed, eyes, body I used them all. I could comunicate!
It was time to walk over the bridge and meet peple from other islands. It didn't meen that I was cured, no way. Feer still lurks and at time I retreet to my island and block the bridge. I rite more but finding words is still hard. I still reed easy books. I cannot follow some things I get confused, agitated, upset. Peple ask if I watched so and so, red so and so and I say no; oh you should it great. But I have not been able to I just can't - yet.
One thing that has upset me is I haven't been able to go to church. It isn't that I don't want to, but just the fact I scared. True I have had lot of problms with pain over the last couple months and doctors have helped that. I got more tablets take! But I scared number peple there, talk me and then sermon I not sure I able folow. I try get out be with peple, but siting same room them and noing you got talk, I panic.
I try explain this peple but they not understnd. That meen I retreet again and want stay own island. Why you not understnd? It over and over in hed.
I think, what big problm? Talk, reed, rite? I no it talk. OK. So, I no I not talk gud. But I comunicate. So if I able comunicate, what problm? None! Ah, but peple think I stupid not talk gud. Is that MY problm? No. It they problm. If they problm way I talk then tugh!
Concentration and understnding problm me. Some sermons go long time and I not follow, what do? Try follow and if can't sit and pray!
I able take these answers other things. Grups are big problm me. I gud small grups but big grups more noise and I not able follow peple say. So I find one/to peple talk to and keep that.
Donne rite, no man (or woman) is island we all need be part of biger continent. We need them suport, sustinense, information, company. We conected by what we give each other. When one us not being part we mised and the interaction brake down. Even hermits mixed with others times. For news, food, company, reasurance. I venturing further from island, times it nice return and recharge then venture out gain.
I working on meeting biger grups and no I lay down rules that. I hope things improve but if not, I got ways comunicate and if peple not like it they not need talk me!
We all part one whole
Small as we are, we all part one whole
We all got something ofer
No one more or less important than others
We are no beter or worse than others
But some will try to bring you down
Avoid the rubish tips, where the truble lerks
Life rols by in fast lane and times we need retreet to sanctury
Find that place calm, recharge and stride out again
Peple not have like you or want you, they have choise
You have choise to, go where you wanted, needed
Go where rivers flow, flowers grow and sun shines
Go to the hapy places, places where love blosoms.
Don't let angst and critiques bother you
They drag you down, hurt you, bruise you.
Keep to the side where green grass grows
This you life, you got choises, you got chances
Make rite choises and you chances come
You got something ofer, YOU!
You got something peple want, YOU!
For each rejection there many chances
You small but part of whole picure.
You as important as evryone else
You no beter, no worse than evryone else:
Go where you wanted and needed
Let nothing bother you, not get draged down.
Live for you and remember you are unique
You are YOU and there not another one like it!
