I have, however, had some good and interesting times too. The Aphasia group is first class, I love it there. I had a go at hangman with my husband although I wasn't very good at it I made an attempt.
I have also been on a one day retreat with members of our church. It was a horrid, wet day but we had wonderful fellowship together, meditation and even a walk by the harbour. One thing I did discover during the retreat was that I could still write poetry. It means digging down inside myself to my hidden feelings, once uncovered I found that I still enjoy putting the feelings down on paper, letting them out to make a statement on my behalf.
Writing has always been a passion since I was at school. I love words and find that there are so many to explain our hopes and desires, our loves and hates, our needs and wants. I feel uncomfortable with unnecessary swearing that so many feel is needed to explain what they mean. The English language, whatever form you use, is diverse and eloquent enough without stooping to the profane.
I felt that I needed to put my feelings on Aphasia into words, not spoken as that is difficult, but onto paper (or on my blog) so I started to write and the words came, slowly, but they are there. Not first rate but they are my feelings and still I have blocks where words are refusing to show themselves. The rest is for your opinions.
More than words can say
I don't need words to
express my feelings
I say more with my face,
my eyes, my hands
My body too tells you all
you need to know
Who needs words when there
are other ways.
To show my love I open my arms
I hold you close and hear your heart
I smell your scent, I taste your tears
I feel your love, do you feel mine ?
I express my joy with smiles and laughter
I smile with my eyes as well as my mouth
Ecitement flushes my reddened cheeks
My energy flows like red hot lava.
My sadness fills my entire being
Tears fall, compassion shows
Comforting arms hold shaking bodies
A hand mops eyes red and sore.
I am not dumb when other ways,
Can be found to express my feelings
I ask your patience and observations
Actions speak a thousand words.
Words of hope
Tears course from swollen,
reddened eyes
Dripping unseen to wet the
floor
Frustration builds like a
volcano inside
Filling my being bringing
pain to the fore.
Feeling helpless and
hopeless a daily chore
Searching and probing the
depths of the mind
Where once an eloquence
spilled forth
Now empty gaps fill a
troubled brain.
Words of platitude do not
help
They smack of sufferance
and pity
A gesture of love quietens
my whirling brain
Accepted from a loving
hand.
Accepting a state of
confused emotion
A world where words mean
more than action
A world so different to
the one I live
Words fail, hopes dashed,
stress reigns.
Acceptance in this world
of yours
Means more than wealth
galore
To be seen as one with you
is all,
I ask from each and
everyone.
Don't mock or tease. Don't
patronise
Don't fill my space with
your own words
Patience, I ask, is all I
need
And time to talk at my own
leisure.
Not words alone
Words spin wildly in my
head
I lurch and grab at every
one
They soar away out of my
reach
Before I chance myself to
speak.
So many things I have to
say
Words that tell how I may
feel
They each express my hopes
my fear
My desires and love of
those most dear.
I long to say to each and
one
I love you, need you, hold
you tight
But words are fragile they
come they go
They never stand clearly
in a row.
My thoughts stay buried in
my mind
Not able to reach my
waiting lips
I tell my thoughts not by
words alone
Gestures fill the void
words fail to hone.
What do you see ?
Look at me, what do you
see ?
A person, that is me.
I have feelings, I have
hopes,
I have desires by the
bucketloads.
If you hit me I will hurt
If you cut me I will bleed
If you call me offensive
names
I will cry tears of pain.
Inside, I am just like you
I love, I hate, I worry
too
I am no different to all I
see
I have a voice deep inside
of me.
I didn't ask for what is
done
I cannot change it, fate
has won
But I will never sorry be
That what has happened,
happened to me.
My voice will not carry
through the air
It fails to register a
note to share
But write, I can and my
words are said
In black and white and can
be read.
I tell you, I am human too
With blood and bones and
feelings true
If you have time to read
my words
You will hear my voice as
it is shared.
Because I am different to
you
It means I see things not
clearly viewed
I see them from deep in my
heart
Those are what I try to
impart.
Together we can make a
change
In peoples' perception
easily made
The fight is on and with
your help
A different generation
will surely swell.
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