A little bit normal

I have named the way I now speak as Aphasiaspeak, of course it has no real meaning but to me it is a name I gave it to differentiate it from my own voice.

I have found I feel a little bit more normal at the Stroke Association group I attend as there are several people just like me with Aphasiaspeak. When I mix with people outside I am aware they are not sure how to communicate with me and today we had a visitor and I asked that she looked at me when she spoke, 'oh OK,' she said. It sounded a little like she was surprised at the request but to be honest it is just what you would do to anyone really.

I had to go to hospital yesterday to see the stroke doctor. She didn't keep eye contact with me and sometimes it was a bit hard to catch what she said and she didn't really listen to me. I know some people look to my husband for translation at times but even he, on occasions, can't understand. It is so frustrating when I cannot get the words out or find the word I want, I know they are there and many times I feel I could say the words but they just won't come. I have a picture in my head of what I want to talk about all I need is someone with telepathy! 

Communication is more than words, facial expression, hand gestures, body movement and your eyes all mount up to communication. If words fail you then if you can try with a few words and gestures it is possible to convey some meaning. I have often been told in the past if you couldn't you your hands you wouldn't be able to speak! Thankfully I can use my hands and it has made it possible to communicate what I want or need. 

I have been interested in what an American Aphasic has said about working with the law enforcement in his area. Some Aphasics have had problems with police officers who have taken them for being drunk as they couldn't speak properly. In a situation where a person is being interviewed by police officers they can become stressed and get confused as they are asked questions. If you start from the position of being unable to communicate and the pressure becomes increased then words do literally fail you. Police who are not acquainted with Aphasia do not understand the problems it can have, mostly that it is not just a difficulty in speech; that is just the obvious part of the condition. Reading and writing are part of it too and an Aphasic would most likely not be able to read any document given to them or even write their name and address. One thing that police should also realise it that understanding is very much lacking with many Aphasics. They cannot understand even simple instructions or follow a train of thought. It can look very much as though they are being awkward or belligerent when it is the process that doesn't work. 

It pleases me that law enforcers are willing to learn about conditions such as Aphasia. It is a long time coming as it isn't as though it is a new condition it has been around as long as strokes have affected people. If they don't have anyone in their family or friend circle with the condition they believe that there is nothing wrong as Aphasics look like anyone else it is just their speech that is apparent when they talk. But the fact they are willing to learn is a step in the right direction.

Aphasics are not abnormal, subnormal they are normal in their own way. Because I cannot talk well doesn't mean that I don't understand, sometimes I am confused and misunderstand what is said but that doesn't mean I don't understand everything. Reading is hard and a work in progress, writing takes time and I have to spend time finding words and meanings so I find the right word. I can go a couple of days without writing my blog while I search for a word I want. 

Patience is the key for people communicating with Aphasics, patience to have eye contact, speak slowly, if a question is not understood find another way to word it or write it down, draw a picture if possible and not use long complicated sentences. For me keep it short. Don't try and hold long conversations, keep to about 15 minutes and take a break before resuming.  I do tend to run away when it all gets too much but if I try and stick it out then my speech will become more and more incomprehensible. 

As I tick off the list of the effect Aphasia has on people I can see I am a little bit normal. My speech is affected, as is my reading to a degree and my writing is not too bad but takes time/ I do understand, mostly, what is said although I can get confused and panic.

A little bit normal? Yes I can take that, but what I would like is more understanding of the debilitating condition Aphasia is and that can only come about through educating people and the police are a good place to start.