Volunteers make life good and worthwhile

I was very fortunate that I was referred to the Stroke Association Group in Petersfield, Hampshire by my Stroke Association representative Carly.

She had actually started the group just over two years ago and her mother, Jan, is a member. Not only did Carly understand about Aphasia from her work but also on a more personal level which gave me great confidence to attend.

From the moment I arrived I felt at home. I felt and still feel included in what happens. The volunteers do fantastic work in making the group a success. The activities make sure that everyone is included on their own level so no one is left on the sidelines. The volunteers are people with Aphasia themselves or they are carers of Aphasia or stroke survivors. This makes communication much easier as people talk to ME and they have the time and patience to allow me to respond. Other members who are Aphasics also include me in conversations and they will make ME answer them not my husband as it is so easy for me to pass things over to him for a response.

The volunteers work tirelessly to make each meeting a success for everyone and they will do their utmost to get people involved in some way or another. Whether it be word searches, dominoes, chair exercises or gardening everyone has a role they can play in the group. Even tea or coffee and biscuits is seen as an important part of the sessions. Actually doing things is good to work hands, feet, brains and bodies but the time to relax and interact with others is also seen as important. This is true, getting parts of the body, including the brain, moving and working is very important as therapy but the time taken to get to know others is just as vital. We learn such a lot from each other in how we perceive things, how we tackle them or deal with them. Just the task of speaking is extremely important as Aphasics need to practice sounds, words and phrases in order to reclaim their speech.

Our group are not all Aphasic but the majority are and that, for me, is the reason I go. We are all at different levels and stages and it is wonderful to see people who have progressed from where I am to where they are and I can know that there is the possibility of progress for me. One or two have very little speech and it has been that way for a long while but I have met people who are doing so well and they are proud of themselves and rightly so.

It is also important to realise that others have similar problems as I do. I find I cry for no reason at all really and one or two others say that they are like that too. I know I have changed in personality and character some others have gone through changes as well. We can share little tips on things, things we would never have come up with ourselves and you think, wow that is brilliant! I have road tested a pen that the chairperson brought in. It works wonderfully for me and it could work for others too. She didn't know where to get them as someone had given it to her, so I Googled it and found some on Amazon. I gave her the details so if someone else is interested we know where to get them.

Not only are we a group of people who have Stroke in common but work as a team. For me that means we do things to help each other. The carers have a monthly meeting too where they go off separately and discuss any issues they may have. I have no illusions that the carers are not affected by the Stroke as much as the survivor because they are. I rely on my husband a lot and other carers are in the same position. Some of the survivors need a great deal of care and help which is hard on carers. These meetings are held with the Stroke Association representative in that area Mandy and she has been very helpful to me as well.

It is true that the majority of Strokes are incurred by older people whereby the carer is usually of a similar age but that is not always the case. Younger people, from babies in the womb, children, adolescents and upward are not immune as Stroke is prejudiced it will strike anyone at any time. I know, I was in my 30s when I had my first Stroke.

What we feel is that education is the key in the understanding of Stroke and of Aphasia in particular. People know of Stroke usually because a family member has had one. But Aphasia is different, people just don't know what it is or how to handle the situation in meeting someone with it.

Outside of the group I am still nervous of meeting people and having even a short conversation with them but in the group it is so relaxed, easygoing and natural. At the group I feel normal, one of the gang as my husband puts it and it is important to be one of the group and not sit on the outside looking in.

I have such a lot to thank the volunteers for they are brilliant and have made such a difference to me. I can go along and be ME! Volunteers are sometimes treated with disdain which is most unfair. Without the hard work and great deal of time given up by them people in the group's situation would lose out and become very isolated as I did before joining them. They make life good and worthwhile once again.